The sad part of growing older is losing friends. When people keep learning through life experiences through time, they gain wisdom. It doesn't happen automatically. It takes work, tears and discipline. Eventually, wisdom comes. This is what makes old people very special. Their life experiences are like a rich tapestry. If I am lucky, they tell me some of it. They are like precious jewels. Each one is different. Each one is special and irreplaceable. That is why, when they die, they leave a big hole on earth that no other person can fill. We should honor the elderly and rejoice that they play a part in our life. They should not be exiled to Florida. They should stay connected with their friends and family.
A Christmas card came back from an elderly friend. His wife said that he had died in April of this year. I am so glad that I knew this man. He was my financial advisor until he retired. He guided me from poverty to a comfortable retirement. I learned so much about money from him. Best of all was to be exposed to his personality, to enjoy conversations . I was surprised to learn that He collected china. I thought only women did that. He played tennis well into his 70s. We met at a singles dance. A girlfriend coaxed me to go. I went directly from work. At the dance, I realized that I still had my steel toes safety shoes on. I danced with Bud...told him about my shoes. He surprised me by saying that He had steel toes safety shoes on too. He loved to dance, but some of the women he danced with, would step on his toes. The safety shoes protected his feet from his clumsy partners. We had a friendship that lasted over 20 years. I cherish the memories.
Even though We are equal in the eyes of God, We are different in our individuality. Some people don't function very well. Others dedicate their entire life to a cause. It becomes their passion. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. I risk stating that We can rank people according to how well they function. Are they all they are capable of being? Did they grow and flourish, or are they stagnating, burdened with negative thinking, poor habits, inability to set goals and accomplish those goals through a lot of discipline and sacrifice? When I meet people at "the top" of this ranking, I rejoice. they are a pleasure to know. My financial advisor was one at the top. He was a CEO of a copper manufacturing plant. He was a friend of Bruno Bic...the CEO of Bic pens and lighters. He was competent. He was not a snob, although He was a millionaire. You would never know it. You only would know that he seemed interested in what you had to say. Bud had class.
Still grieving for two losses in a month, the phone rings. It is my "almost" brother, Harval. The term "almost" needs an explaination. His mom and dad and my mom and dad were friends their entire lives. Only Harval's mom, my aunt Valeria is still living. Harval's dad at one time, dated my mom, but this broke up and each married someone else. If Harval's dad had married my mom, Harval would be my brother. It's a stretch, but you can do it. Both couples produced their children around the same time. I grew up with Harval. We slept in the same bed as children on vacation. We visited with his grandmother in Pennsylvania. We swam at the beach, ate watermelen, played like kittens and puppies together. We lost contact for a while, but We're back in touch again. Harval's message on the phone was He has cancer...again. Both he and his wife were chain smokers. They would light up the next cigarette from the butt of the first cigarette. Nancy died a horrible death from bone cancer. Harval has had SEVEN bouts of cancer. This is number eight. My first husband and my second husband died of cancer. Each suffered one bout of this disease. It was exhausting. How can my friend suffer like this? He had lung cancer, prostrate cancer, bladder cancer...I don't know what else. About 9 months ago, His shoulder started to hurt. The doctors thought He needed physical therapy . The truth was he had bone cancer. Now he has to go through what Nancy went through. His attitude is good, thank heavens. His doctor said that cigarettes "are the gift that keeps on giving". Don't smoke.
A Christmas card came back from an elderly friend. His wife said that he had died in April of this year. I am so glad that I knew this man. He was my financial advisor until he retired. He guided me from poverty to a comfortable retirement. I learned so much about money from him. Best of all was to be exposed to his personality, to enjoy conversations . I was surprised to learn that He collected china. I thought only women did that. He played tennis well into his 70s. We met at a singles dance. A girlfriend coaxed me to go. I went directly from work. At the dance, I realized that I still had my steel toes safety shoes on. I danced with Bud...told him about my shoes. He surprised me by saying that He had steel toes safety shoes on too. He loved to dance, but some of the women he danced with, would step on his toes. The safety shoes protected his feet from his clumsy partners. We had a friendship that lasted over 20 years. I cherish the memories.
Even though We are equal in the eyes of God, We are different in our individuality. Some people don't function very well. Others dedicate their entire life to a cause. It becomes their passion. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. I risk stating that We can rank people according to how well they function. Are they all they are capable of being? Did they grow and flourish, or are they stagnating, burdened with negative thinking, poor habits, inability to set goals and accomplish those goals through a lot of discipline and sacrifice? When I meet people at "the top" of this ranking, I rejoice. they are a pleasure to know. My financial advisor was one at the top. He was a CEO of a copper manufacturing plant. He was a friend of Bruno Bic...the CEO of Bic pens and lighters. He was competent. He was not a snob, although He was a millionaire. You would never know it. You only would know that he seemed interested in what you had to say. Bud had class.
Still grieving for two losses in a month, the phone rings. It is my "almost" brother, Harval. The term "almost" needs an explaination. His mom and dad and my mom and dad were friends their entire lives. Only Harval's mom, my aunt Valeria is still living. Harval's dad at one time, dated my mom, but this broke up and each married someone else. If Harval's dad had married my mom, Harval would be my brother. It's a stretch, but you can do it. Both couples produced their children around the same time. I grew up with Harval. We slept in the same bed as children on vacation. We visited with his grandmother in Pennsylvania. We swam at the beach, ate watermelen, played like kittens and puppies together. We lost contact for a while, but We're back in touch again. Harval's message on the phone was He has cancer...again. Both he and his wife were chain smokers. They would light up the next cigarette from the butt of the first cigarette. Nancy died a horrible death from bone cancer. Harval has had SEVEN bouts of cancer. This is number eight. My first husband and my second husband died of cancer. Each suffered one bout of this disease. It was exhausting. How can my friend suffer like this? He had lung cancer, prostrate cancer, bladder cancer...I don't know what else. About 9 months ago, His shoulder started to hurt. The doctors thought He needed physical therapy . The truth was he had bone cancer. Now he has to go through what Nancy went through. His attitude is good, thank heavens. His doctor said that cigarettes "are the gift that keeps on giving". Don't smoke.
posted by gardenbug at Sunday, December 17, 2006
1 Comments:
Oh - I'm sorry to hear about Harval. What's with all of the bad news lately?
I worry about Stephen and Andy smoking, as well. It's awful when you see a train wreck happening, but you can't stop it.
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